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ExploreDinosaurs rock. This is an indisputable fact, a very law of nature. Television knows it, cinema knows it, history knows it. It is the same as saying the sun is bright, or water is wet. And aside from the whole scaly and totally dead part, dinosaurs are not very different from humans. Some were big, and some were small; some were meat eaters, and some were vegetarians; some were respectful and graceful, and others need a tribal spear to the face.
But no matter how cool and relatable dinosaurs can be, it might just be a good thing they are extinct. I’m not saying I’m against a modern amusement park of revived reptiles (other than the fact that there is a full movie franchise warning otherwise), but it would probably suck to be a dinosaur today.
For starters, regular activities would become such a chore for them. Washing your claws and having to duck through every doorway would have to be so bothersome. Just imagine it: You’re at the airport waiting for your flight. You’ve already checked in your bags and gone through security (where of course they pulled you aside for a pat-down). You have found your gate and read that the flight has been delayed another five hours! You need to be on the other side of Pangaea for your mother-in-law’s birthday by 2 PM, but now you have just got to wait. So you head over to the restrooms, wait in line for one of the five hours, close the stall door, and…
Life is stacked against dinosaurs, and that’s just one instance! But the list goes on and on and on. For example, they might be real great singers (Godzilla would be spitting straight fire with his karaoke), but dancing probably is not their strong suit. Let’s just say I have a feeling they’re not the most athletically inclined animals.
Now that I think of it, Earth, Wind & Fire and the Rolling Stones would be all the rage with a Mesozoic audience. But other than that, the music industry as a whole may not be totally cut out for dinosaurs. Don’t call me dino-racist or anything, but I really don’t think it is all adding up. From spinning sick tracks to banging out the rhythm, their reach may end a little short.
But maybe you should not tell the dinosaurs that. It sounds like they can be a little feisty when they’re upset, especially when they’re hungry too (just ask Chris Pratt). Getting mad on an empty stomach happens to the best of us… but the best of us aren’t ninety feet tall and ravenous for flesh.
Blogging and social media would probably both be out of the picture too. Their lives would totally be interesting enough to read about, and I’m sure they travel all over the place! There wouldn’t exactly be an issue with phone access, but their pictures may fall outside Instagram’s Terms and Conditions.
Ah they may not fit in with the rest of us, but they’re easily still my second favorite prehistoric organism (top place goes to Betty White). At times, they can be a bit rough around the edges, but they’re honestly more civilized than most of the 2016 United States presidential candidates. So go ahead and show them some Jurassic love, grab a few t-shirts for you and the whole herd!
