Every year we have grand plans for our St. Patrick’s Day festivities. And every year, the reality is a little different. Here’s some examples of what we plan, and what really happens.
Idea: This year you’re going to make a music playlist that delves into the roots of Celtic music.
Reality: Your playlist consists of Flogging Molly and The Pogues.
By the end of the night: You’re singing that old Chumbawamba song (“He takes the whisky drink, he takes the vodka drink”) and following those instructions.
Idea: You’re going to McDonald’s for a Shamrock Shake only.
Reality: Four shakes and two Big Macs consumed.
By the end of the night: McDonald’s drive-thru!
Idea: You’re going to have a nice corn beef and cabbage meal.
Reality: It’s so good you go back for multiple servings.
By the end of the night: You’re in a food coma so deep, an Irish Catholic priest gives you last rites.
Idea: You’re not going to wear any crazy St. Patrick’s Day accesories.
Reality: OK, just a Leprechaun hat.
By the end of the night: You’re wearing the hat, shamrock shaped glasses, a green lei, a “kiss me I’m Irish” pin and your face is painted the colors of the flag of Ireland.
Idea: You’re only going to have a beer or two and drink a glass of water with each one.
Reality: You drink so many beers you lost count, and still nursing one glass of water.
By the end of the night: Most of that water was spilled on the bar.
Idea: You’re not picking up anybody tonight.
Reality: You snagged the hottest person in the bar.
By the end of the night: You wake up in bed next to the coat rack from the bar.
Idea: You’re going to wear that shirt you got from TeeHunter to your St. Patrick’s Day celebration.
Reality: Everybody comments on it and buys you drinks.
By the end of the night: You go home with the hottest person in the bar—for real this time!*
*TeeHunter cannot guarantee you’ll go home with the hottest person in the bar, but we can make sure you look good with these cool St. Patrick’s Day shirts.
Written by Tom Misuraca
I am an award-winning playwright/novelist/screenwriter/blogger. I enjoy comics (Batman, Fantastic Four, X-Men), movies, music (Gothic, Industrial, 80s), reading and yoga.