St. Patrick’s Day Expectations and Reality

by on Mar 04, 2016

Every year we have grand plans for our St. Patrick’s Day festivities. And every year, the reality is a little different. Here’s some examples of what we plan, and what really happens.

Idea: This year you’re going to make a music playlist that delves into the roots of Celtic music.
Reality: Your playlist consists of Flogging Molly and The Pogues.
By the end of the night: You’re singing that old Chumbawamba song (“He takes the whisky drink, he takes the vodka drink”) and following those instructions.

Idea: You’re going to McDonald’s for a Shamrock Shake only.
Reality: Four shakes and two Big Macs consumed.
By the end of the night: McDonald’s drive-thru!

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Idea: You’re going to have a nice corn beef and cabbage meal.
Reality: It’s so good you go back for multiple servings.
By the end of the night: You’re in a food coma so deep, an Irish Catholic priest gives you last rites.

Idea: You’re not going to wear any crazy St. Patrick’s Day accesories.
Reality: OK, just a Leprechaun hat.
By the end of the night: You’re wearing the hat, shamrock shaped glasses, a green lei, a “kiss me I’m Irish” pin and your face is painted the colors of the flag of Ireland.

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Idea: You’re only going to have a beer or two and drink a glass of water with each one.
Reality: You drink so many beers you lost count, and still nursing one glass of water.
By the end of the night: Most of that water was spilled on the bar.

Idea: You’re not picking up anybody tonight.
Reality: You snagged the hottest person in the bar.
By the end of the night: You wake up in bed next to the coat rack from the bar.

Idea: You’re going to wear that shirt you got from TeeHunter to your St. Patrick’s Day celebration.
Reality: Everybody comments on it and buys you drinks.
By the end of the night: You go home with the hottest person in the bar—for real this time!*

*TeeHunter cannot guarantee you’ll go home with the hottest person in the bar, but we can make sure you look good with these cool St. Patrick’s Day shirts.


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I am an award-winning playwright/novelist/screenwriter/blogger. I enjoy comics (Batman, Fantastic Four, X-Men), movies, music (Gothic, Industrial, 80s), reading and yoga.

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