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ExploreGotham City and Metropolis are two of the best-known DC Comics created cities. Even if you’re not a major fan of Batman and Superman, you’ve probably heard of these fictional cities and some of the things that exist within them. For instance, The Daily Planet in Metropolis, and to a lesser extent, The Gotham Gazette. If these worlds have their own legitimate newspapers, they’re sure to have their own tabloids as well. Ones that cover everything from celebrity gossip to crazy out-of-this-world conspiracies (which are not too far out in these worlds).
As the world prepares for the release of Batman Vs. Superman, I thought it’d be fun to come up with some of the tabloid headlines that would be printed around the events in the movie. The biggest story for these rags would be:
Who Are They?
When the world has a couple of mysterious figures running around claiming to be protecting the citizens of their towns, people are going to want to know who they really are. Whereas the regular press couldn’t make any wild accusations, these tabloids could.
Bruce Wayne: “I’m Superman!”
Batman is Lex Luthor!
Batman is an Alien, Too!
They’d probably never want their true identities to be revealed because stories suggesting who they could be could go on forever. The pope! Obama! Donald Trump! George Clooney!
Speaking of celebrities, there are sure to be stories connecting our heroes with other famous folks.
Batman vs. Superman vs. Hollywood
Most of these tabloids are filled with celebrity gossip, and since Batman, Superman and their foes have become celebrities in their own right, their images would adorn this supermarket checkout fodder. And sales of these magazines would skyrocket if our heroes had some Hollywood celebrity connection, especially a romantic one. And certainly a friend of a neighbor has seen Superman fly into some well-know Beverly Hills celebrity compound.
Angelina Leaves Brad for Batman
Kim Kardashian Sleeping with Superman Behind Kanye’s Back
It’s All Special Effects! Superheroes Exposed as Fakes by Hollywood!
Many may believe that a well-known (or even faded) celebrity is Batman or Superman. And/or that all their super powers are nothing more than Hollywood special effects. And more importantly, what celebrity will play Batman and Superman in their upcoming bio pics.
And not only will they be associated with celebrities, but they will also be treated like celebrities, praised or condoned for their looks and style:
Batman’s Mysterious Weight Gain
Superman’s Final Days!
General Zod Autopsy Shocker!
The Dirt
And of course, there’d be provocative articles on their personals lives:
Lois Lane Pregnant With Super Baby!
Caught! Bruce Wayne’s Revealing Photos with His Young Ward!
Batman and Superman? Friends? Foes? Or Lovers?
Fear Mongering
With a bunch of super villains running around, these mags would find a way to feed into people’s fears. For example:
The Joker Threatens a Laugh-Filled Armageddon
General Zod: “You Will All Kneel Before Me!”
Lex Luthor: Entrepreneur or Secret Super Villain?
Just Plain Trash
Our super friends are sure to be featured in pointless fodder in order to sell more magazines.
Lex Luthor Hair Care Secrets
You Can Be As Rich As Bruce Wayne!
Batman is Batboy’s Father!
Most of us will, of course, laugh at these tabloid tales. But I may take a peek at one or two while waiting in line at the grocery store. Just a peek…
