20 Shirts to Offend Your Family This Holiday Season

And now we’ve reached that time of year when most of us get to see our family a great deal more than usual. For a small fractions of us, this is a delightful experience. For the other half of us, this is a piece of Hell on Earth. Many people find their families to be judgemental, rude, stupid and just not very pleasant people to be around. (Not my family, of course, I love them all dearly.)

Even the best families have a way of making you feel bad about your life choices (as well as things that may have not been a choice). They push your buttons and have the nerve to ask you things no other people in the world would think appropriate. And no matter where you are in life, it’s not good enough.

There are two ways to combat these types of family members. The first is to sit there and take it and hope that your time with them will end soon. The second is to give it back back to them as good as you get. They say the best defense is a good offense. So why not start right off the bat by wearing a t-shirt that they may find offensive.

I’ve done a little hunting and found some that may cause some fun reactions over holiday meals. I avoided basic offensive political shirts (mostly) because that’s the easy button to press with family. I tried to find some shirts that will give them something to talk about on the ride home.

You may want to test how close they really pay attention to you. So instead of an overtly offensive shirt, wear something that looks cute, but will disturb them if they actually take the time to read it:

Or screw being subtle, and remind the older folks of their impending doom:

Got any overly religious types in the family? They probably already believe you’re going to Hell. So why not assure them of your destination and offend them at the same time. They’ll have to avert their eyes as they ask you to pass the potatoes…

They may be used to your blasphemy by now. So maybe find a subtle way to insult their beliefs.

If they think you’re a sinner, you may as well go all the way and give them something to pray for you about:

Or just scare the Hell out of them. In a cute way….

By the time the holidays begin, the American Presidential campaign will be over. Doesn’t mean the arguments won’t continue. Why not piss off both sides with this shirt:

OK. Maybe we’ve gone too far. Let’s get back to being subtle. Or in this case, give them a subtle warning of what they’ll receive if they try to engage you:

This one may be a little more obvious, but hey, you’re not swearing, you don’t even know how to speak sign language…

Or you can be overtly dirty while proclaiming one of your favorite hobbies:

But of course, when they read it as “filthy” you must act surprised and offended that they would think your shirt about running has anything to do with sex.

It’s fun to be proud of things your family wouldn’t approve of. Like if you dropped out of school:

Though it would be more funny if you didn’t drop out of school. That could really mess with their heads.

And if you’ve graduated with an art degree and get the constant questions of “So what is it you really do?” When they ask that, just point to this shirt:

And if you’re a photographer, this is the shirt for you:

If you have any cousins who are geeks, you can annoy them with shirt:

And I’ve saved the best for last. Shirts that look almost like corporate logos or a family friendly character, but are in fact, quite smutty. See which family member notices it first, and will they say anything?

Of course we are no responsible when your family throws you out of the house. But I’m sure it’ll be worth it.